It's too much...

     My mind comes equipped with an advanced emotional suppression system.
I'm able to stall the effects of emotions for several years without even trying to; it's a subconscious protection mechanism.  Whenever my mind begins to wander to a thought stream that could be considered painful to think of, the thought is automatically terminated.

     However, as my graduation from high school draws close, just a dawn away, my heart begins to feel deep throbs of nostalgia.  And like anytime something enters the heart, this painful pulse of nostalgia is pushed throughout the rest of my body.  Feeling begins to flow through my veins once again.

    Sentimentality yields teardrops...  I feel them behind the glass of the soul's window: it's raining inside.  Flashbacks.  I see myself as a freshman, and I realize that four years passed in the blink of an eye.  Friends made.  Powerful bonds that are going to be severed now: seniors part paths.  Best friends no longer share laughs daily.

     Teachers become a distant memory.  The pleasure one receives from performing well on a school homework assignment is no longer possible to attain.   Comparing answers will never happen again.

     The experience, the happiness, the adrenaline of being a part of a body of five-hundred; beginning memes, becoming well-known, helping friends, touching lives, chances lost, regretful thinking, wish I could have done more, what happened to all the time?, life on Earth is a vapor then it's gone, don't cry it's not that big of a deal, my best friend is already gone, and now my new best friend is distant maybe forever, overwhelming this is: nostalgia is painful.

     Now, I realize the whole of the situation.  I become excited when I think about it.  This is not an end, but rather a beginning.  Teachers become friends, and my existence in the high school will be just as strong, just different.  But even though I know this, and I can sense the excitement of the next chapter of my life jumping from neuron to neuron... I still can't shake this nostalgia that I'm feeling.  And it still makes me want to cry.